Back to School 1986

Thorton Melon, a shrewd and affluent entrepreneur, has built a lucrative empire of clothing stores catering specifically to individuals who share his own struggles with weight. Despite his impressive business acumen, Melon’s academic path was vastly different from that of his peers, as he never had the opportunity to attend college. When his top executives gather for a meeting, Melon listens intently as they discuss potential investment opportunities and offers sage advice on how to navigate the cutthroat world of finance. Just as the meeting is wrapping up, Jason, Melon’s son, interrupts the proceedings, his voice laced with an air of nervousness as he inquires about his father’s well-being. Jason, a student at the prestigious Grand Lakes University, is struggling to find his footing among the elite academic community.

As Melon navigates the complexities of being a proud parent, his wife, Vanessa, hosts an exclusive dinner party at their opulent estate, replete with high society’s who’s who. However, Thorton isn’t fooled by the superficiality of these acquaintances; he knows that they’re only there to network and curry favor with his wife. His suspicions are confirmed when he catches Vanessa in flagrante delicto with her lover, Giorgio. Rather than letting his emotions get the better of him, Melon presents Vanessa with a pre-arranged divorce agreement and flaunts incriminating Polaroids of their illicit affair.

In the aftermath of the party, Thorton retreats to his private pool, where he communes with his trusted personal aide and bodyguard, Lou. As they discuss the state of his marriage, Melon expresses concern over his growing distance from Jason. He decides that a surprise visit to Grand Lakes is in order, hoping to reconnect with his son and rekindle their bond. Upon arrival, Melon inadvertently stumbles upon a sorority house, only to discover that he’s misidentified the wrong Greek organization. A humbled Thorton is forced to confront the harsh realities of his own limitations as a parent.

Jason reveals that he’s struggling to form meaningful connections with his peers and has been excluded from the fraternities and diving team. Melon’s heart swells with paternal pride as he urges Jason to persevere, emphasizing the importance of higher education in securing a successful future. In a bold move, Thorton decides to enroll at Grand Lakes as a freshman, committing to spending a semester alongside his son. As they navigate the challenges of college life together, Melon hopes that this experience will foster a deeper understanding and strengthen their bond.

Thorton, lacking a traditional academic background to qualify as a student at Grand Lakes, employs his cunning and philanthropic spirit to persuade Dean Martin into granting him entry by making a generous donation towards the construction of the Thorton Melon School of Business. This bold move leaves Philip Barbay, the esteemed dean of the business department, incredulous that someone could circumvent the traditional academic route with such ease. Thorton swiftly counters Barbay’s concerns by highlighting his wealth of real-world business experience, which he believes far surpasses his opponent’s impressive academic credentials.

As Thorton and Jason register for classes, both men find themselves enrolled in Barbay’s business course, where they engage in lively discussions about the semester’s syllabus. During their first class, Thorton proves to be a formidable opponent, skillfully disputing nearly every point Barbay presents, as they delve into the theoretical aspects of building and selling a product.

Meanwhile, Thorton’s academic pursuits are not the only area of his life where he experiences great excitement. In Diane Turner’s literature class, Thorton finds himself hopelessly smitten with her charm and wit, despite being aware that she is already in a romantic relationship with Philip Barbay. Despite this obstacle, Thorton’s carefree nature seems to resonate deeply with Diane, who begins to date him as well.

As the semester unfolds, Jason finds solace in his blossoming romance with Valerie, a young woman who shares his passion for learning. However, their connection is not without its challenges, as Valerie remains emotionally tied to Chas, a condescending student who consistently belittles those around him. Thorton, meanwhile, is busy navigating the complexities of his own love life while also coming to the aid of Jason’s roommate, Derek, a radical activist who had earlier disrupted a pep rally for the school’s football team.

In the aftermath of this chaos, Thorton finds himself at the center of a massive brawl that erupts when the captain of the football team attempts to take vengeance on Derek. The situation is eventually brought under control by Lou, and Thorton can’t help but comment on the relatively lackluster performance of the school’s football team compared to his own high school squad.

As Thorton continues to make a name for himself at Grand Lakes, he also forms a connection with the school’s diving coach, who reveals that Jason had attempted out for the team but failed to impress. In response, Thorton urges Jason to execute an impressive dive on the spot, which the coach is eager to witness.

With his presence felt throughout campus, Thorton proves himself to be a force to be reckoned with at Grand Lakes, even as he navigates the intricacies of love, friendship, and academic pursuits.

As Thornton delves deeper into the world of higher education, he finds himself enamored with the social aspects of college life - frequenting bars, hosting rowdy gatherings, and effortlessly charming female students. However, his enthusiasm for the extracurricular activities is starkly juxtaposed with his lackluster approach to academia. In a bid to maintain his academic facade, Thornton resorts to hiring external help from scientific corporations to complete his coursework, much to the dismay of his senior staff.

Jason’s ire is further piqued when he’s presented with an astronomy paper that he had been eager to tackle himself. His frustration deepens when he discovers that his father may have exerted undue influence on the coach to secure him a spot on the diving team. This perceived manipulation only serves to further erode Jason’s trust in his father.

One fateful evening, Thornton’s lavish party in his renovated dorm room reaches a fever pitch. Amidst the revelry, he’s caught off guard by Diane while enjoying a steamy hot tub experience with several young women. The damage is already done, and their relationship begins to fray when she scrutinizes the Kurt Vonnegut paper he submitted, deeming it impossible for him to have written it himself. It transpires that Thornton had enlisted the aid of none other than Vonnegut himself (who makes a cameo appearance) in crafting the piece.

Barbay, sensing an opportunity to pounce on his adversary, lodges formal charges against Thornton with Dean Martin, accusing him of academic dishonesty. Thornton attempts to deflect suspicion by claiming authorship of his work, but Barbay remains unfazed. In a clever countermove, she proposes that his final exams be conducted in an oral format, thereby rendering his cheating tactics obsolete.

As Thornton’s departure date looms near, Jason intervenes, urging him to stay and offering the support of his roommate, Derek, and friend Lou to help him cram for his impending finals. When the big day arrives, Thornton is visibly exhausted. Barbay then presents him with a daunting 27-part question, but Thornton perseveres, answering each component correctly.

Just as he’s on the verge of surrender, Diane implores him to recite Dylan Thomas’ iconic poem “Do not go gentle into that good night.” The familiar words serve as a powerful catalyst, injecting Thornton with renewed determination and enabling him to complete his exams.

As the Grand Lakes diving team readies for their pivotal match, Jason proves to be a standout performer, racking up impressive points as Thorton anxiously awaits the arrival of his exam results. Meanwhile, the team’s fortunes begin to falter, and it becomes clear that they’re in danger of falling behind their arch-rivals. In a last-ditch effort to turn things around, the diving coach summons Thorton poolside, tasking him with executing his legendary Triple Lindy dive - a daring stunt he first mastered during his Atlantic City days. Initially hesitant, Thorton is eventually convinced by Lou’s persuasive charm and proceeds to take the plunge, bounding across multiple diving boards on three distinct levels of the platform. The resulting victory sends the team into jubilation.

In the aftermath, Diane seeks out Thorton, bearing the news that he has earned a string of D’s in his classes, offset by a solitary A - a testament to her influence. This revelation sets the stage for a triumphant finale, as Thorton is granted the opportunity to deliver a sidesplitting address to the graduating class. With wit and wisdom, he implores the gathered students to stay the course, embracing the opportunities that college affords and striving for success - a message met with laughter and applause from the assembled crowd.