Team America: World Police 2004

Team America: World Police is dedicated to thwarting terrorists intent on carrying out their nefarious plans. Operating from their fortified headquarters within the iconic Mount Rushmore, this elite squad includes Lisa, a determined young psychologist; Carson, her romantic interest; Sarah, an alleged psychic; Joe, the quintessential all-American jock who harbors feelings for Sarah; and Chris, a tech whiz skilled in martial arts but who possesses an intense and often irrational hatred for actors. Leading the charge is Spottswoode, a United States government operative, with information fed to them by I.N.T.E.L.L.I.G.E.N.C.E., a state-of-the-art supercomputer.

The team quickly jumps into action when they interrupt a terrorist plot in Paris, France. In their haste, the team causes significant collateral damage, demolishing landmarks such as the Eiffel Tower and the Louvre. Amidst this chaos, Carson’s romantic proposal to Lisa is tragically cut short when a surviving terrorist fatally shoots him.

In need of a new recruit, Spottswoode identifies Gary Johnston, a Broadway actor well-versed in Theater and World Languages. Gary’s role as a spy is critical, allowing him to leverage his acting skills to infiltrate terrorist organizations. Meanwhile, unbeknownst to the team, the North Korean dictator Kim Jong-Il is clandestinely equipping global terrorists with weapons of mass destruction, plotting a worldwide assault.

As I.N.T.E.L.L.I.G.E.N.C.E. uncovers a terrorist assembly in Cairo, Egypt, Gary adeptly infiltrates the group, inadvertently capturing the attention of both Lisa and Sarah, who develop feelings for him. In stark contrast, Chris harbors a deep-seated disdain for Gary, rooted in his animosity towards actors.

Undercover, Gary’s poor disguise manages to earn the trust of a terrorist lieutenant. The team’s attempts to capture the terrorists culminate in further destruction, and yet again, they are criticized by the Film Actors Guild (F.A.G.), a group consisting of liberal Hollywood figures, spurred by Gary’s idol, Alec Baldwin, whose harsh critique deeply affects him. Meanwhile, the United Nations assigns Hans Blix to inspect Kim Jong-Il’s stronghold, only for him to meet a gruesome end at the jaws of man-eating sharks.

Following a temporary victory, Gary confides in Lisa, haunted by memories of his acting career that inadvertently led to his brother’s death by gorillas. Their connection deepens, resulting in a passionate encounter, but tragedy soon strikes again as a group of terrorists detonates explosives at the Panama Canal.

Subsequently, the Film Actors Guild lays blame for the terrorists’ actions squarely on Team America’s shoulders. Consumed by guilt, Gary’s departure leads to inner turmoil among the remaining members, contributing to their capture by a coalition of terrorists and North Korean forces. Meanwhile, Michael Moore sabotages their base, leading to chaos as Kim Jong-Il expresses his disappointment over the terrorists’ failures.

In his downward spiral, Gary turns to alcohol, only finding a semblance of clarity when a drunken drifter likens the world’s leaders to “dicks,” “pussies,” and “assholes.” Shocked back to reality, he regurgitates for an enduring 56 seconds of screen time.

In North Korea, Kim Jong-Il orchestrates a sinister peace ceremony, inviting the Film Actors Guild and world leaders alike, naming Alec as the event’s host. Under the façade of unity, a series of bombs are planned to indiscriminately devastate nations. Amid the turmoil, Gary returns to the wreckage of Mount Rushmore, finding only Spottswoode and the surviving supercomputer.

Through an outrageous act to reclaim Spottswoode’s trust and a brutally comedic training montage, Gary prepares for a daring mission in North Korea. Inside the lair, he rescues his team, resulting in an intense confrontation with the Film Actors Guild. A savage battle claims the lives of numerous guild members, leaving Alec as the last standing.

Eventually, Chris reveals that his disdain for actors originates from a traumatic encounter with the cast of Cats during his youth. The climax unfolds as the team confronts Kim Jong-Il, who seemingly has the upper hand. However, aided by a passionate plea invoking the drifter’s speech, Gary unites the world’s leaders. In a shocking twist, Kim Jong-Il murders Alec and is ultimately defeated by Lisa, who impales him with a Pickelhaube—a helmet famously worn by the German Kaiser—only to unveil his true identity as an alien cockroach named Gyron.

In his dramatic escape in a tiny spaceship, Kim Jong-Il promises to return, while Gary and Lisa’s relationship blossoms amid a rekindled alliance of the team, ready to tackle the ongoing threat of global terrorism.