Spy Hard 1996

Secret agent WD-40 Dick Steele (Leslie Nielsen) finds himself in a perilous situation as he embarks on a mission like no other. Partnered with the enigmatic and charming Veronique Ukrinsky (Nicollette Sheridan), a KGB Agent 3.14, Steele must rescue the kidnapped agent Barbara Dahl (Stephanie Romanov) while thwarting the sinister plans of the diabolical General Rancor (Andy Griffith), who aspires to dominate the globe.

Rancor has taken Barbara captive after she dared to investigate his lair, demanding a computer chip as ransom. This chip possesses the power to allow him to control all the satellites of the world. Time is of the essence; if Rancor doesn’t receive the chip within 36 hours, he will attach Barbara to a missile and launch her towards the USA. The stakes are high—either Rancor uses the chip to rule the world or, without it, he intends to bring about its destruction.

The U.S. Covert Operations Center enlists Steele, coaxing him out of retirement for the mission. The last time he was in action, while protecting the President of the United States, chaos ensued. Steele panicked when he mistook the sound of popping champagne corks for gunfire, leading to the unfortunate incident of driving the President into a water-filled bridge, from which he narrowly escaped due to his swimming prowess.

What complicates matters further is that Barbara is the daughter of Victoria Dahl (Stephanie Romanov), a fellow agent and Steele’s former girlfriend who met a tragic end in his last encounter with Rancor. In a heart-wrenching saga, Victoria died after triggering an explosion on Rancor’s helicopter, losing her balance and plummeting to her demise.

Fifteen years prior, Steele had engaged in a failed arms deal with Rancor, who now infamously adorns robotic legs equipped with weapons due to injuries sustained during that confrontation. Steele’s charm with women might save him—he continues to evade the Femme Fatales who attract him, often through sheer luck.

Reluctantly persuaded by Agent Steven Bishop (Robert Guillaume), Steele springs into action when he discovers Rancor’s survival, linking the villain’s resurgence to Barbara being the daughter of his lost love. Under the guidance of The Director (Charles Durning), who is piloting an array of new disguises, Steele gears up for his task.

Steele’s adventure introduces him to an old rival, Norm Coleman (Barry Bostwick), and flirts spark with the Director’s devoted secretary, denoted as Miss Cheevus (Marcia Gay Harden). Noggin (Clyde Kusatsu) outfits Steele with state-of-the-art gadgets, while fellow agent Kabul (John Ales) provides him rides in a slew of uniquely designed cars.

As his mission unfolds, Steele comes face to face with Moore (Alexandra Paul), a temptress sent by Rancor to eliminate him. In a twist, it turns out that Moore ultimately aids Steele against the very assassins pursuing him, unveiling her identity as Agent 3.14, whose father, Professor Ukrinsky (Elya Baskin), has also gone missing after having collaborated with Rancor.

With the stakes rising, an undercurrent of tension prevails as 3.14 is kidnapped by Rancor right before Steele’s eyes. While searching for clues, Steele discovers a pendant left by her father—a vital clue leading to Professor Ukrinsky, who possesses the control chip for the satellites. He holds onto this power, knowing its potential for peace, but unfortunately, this makes him a target.

Communication proves hazardous, as Steele unwittingly informs the Director of his possession of the chip while being monitored by a mole within their ranks who quickly alerts Rancor. In a desperate bid to save Ukrinsky, Steele hides him at McCluckey’s home while embarking on a rescue mission to free Veronique from Rancor’s stronghold disguised as a nunnery.

Rancor’s forces strike, leading to the kidnapping of both McCluckey and Professor Ukrinsky. Together, Steele and Veronique follow Rancor to his base on Kirkiri Island. In a nail-biting climax, Steele discovers Cheeve is the genuine traitor, working undercover for Rancor.

As their confrontation reaches its peak, Dick and Veronique find themselves captured in Rancor’s control chamber. In a daring maneuver, Steele frees the hostages, binds Rancor to a missile, and deftly reprograms it to veer into the depths of space, thereby saving the world once more while destroying the satellite’s power—a true hero’s journey steeped in action and wit.