Johnny English 2003

The cinematic journey commences with Johnny English (Rowan Atkinson), a hapless British Intelligence agent, indulging in a vivid fantasy where he embodies “Agent One”. As he navigates the world of espionage, he effortlessly dodges two guard dogs, incapacitates two guards, and charms a seductive woman. Just as he’s about to seal the deal with a kiss, his reverie is shattered by the real Agent One (Greg Wise), whose arrival marks the end of English’s fantasy escapade. As English readies documents for his superior, he’s assured that he’s personally verified the submarine hatch codes. With a sense of confidence, Agent One departs on his mission, leaving behind a trail of uncertainty.

The audience is soon informed that Agent One met his untimely demise in action when his submarine hatch “failed to open”. In the aftermath, a devastating bomb wipes out Britain’s remaining agents, all gathered at the funeral of Agent One. The only survivor is English himself, who remains blissfully unaware of the hearse speeding away from the scene mere minutes prior.

As the investigation into the plot to steal the Crown Jewels continues, English takes over the case in collaboration with his capable assistant Angus Bough (Ben Miller). Amidst their detective work, English finds himself drawn to an enigmatic woman, Lorna Campbell (Natalie Imbruglia), whom he encounters at the unveiling of the newly restored Crown Jewels. As security chief, English is responsible for ensuring a seamless event, but his duties are soon disrupted when the power goes out and he must take matters into his own hands.

English’s efforts to cover up his mistake lead him to stage a fight with an apparent criminal in another room, which he later describes as having distinctive features: orange frizzy hair, two teeth, banana-shaped scars, a broken nose, and an eye patch. As the investigation unfolds, Bough and English follow a tunnel that leads them to the stolen Jewels, only to fail in their attempts to thwart the thieves after English inadvertently ejects his pistol’s magazine. In hot pursuit of the culprits, he chases down a hearse but mistakenly pursues the wrong one due to a red light delay. Convinced that the burial party is an act, English arrests the mourners and the priest before realizing his mistake.

In a desperate bid to extricate himself from this predicament, Bough stages an intervention, feigning concern for English’s sanity by claiming he’s an escaped asylum inmate. With this ruse, they manage to escape the scene, leaving the true extent of their blunder shrouded in mystery.

As English and Bough dig deeper, they uncover the true mastermind behind the theft: Pascal Sauvage (John Malkovich), a cunning French prison entrepreneur with royal blood running through his veins. However, when they report their findings to MI7’s head honcho Pegasus (Tim Pigott-Smith), he remains skeptical, dismissing English’s suspicions. Meanwhile, one of Sauvage’s henchmen, Klaus Vendetta, sets out to eliminate the duo in a high-stakes game of cat and mouse.

In a daring move, English and Bough infiltrate Sauvage’s heavily guarded headquarters via parachute, but things take an unexpected turn when English misjudges his landing, finding himself surrounded by the staff and patients of London Hospital instead. Realizing his mistake, he takes matters into his own hands, holding the hospital’s occupants at gunpoint before finally piecing together the truth.

As the stakes escalate, English inadvertently stumbles upon Sauvage’s plan to usurp the throne, with a fake Archbishop (Oliver Ford Davies) serving as the would-be monarch’s right-hand man. But just as things start to fall into place, English finds himself in a precarious situation after accidentally injecting himself with muscle relaxant.

In a chance encounter, he runs into Lorna again (her true identity as an Interpol agent revealed), who’s been tracking Sauvage’s every move. Joining forces with Bough, they crash Sauvage’s lavish party, where English’s still-under-the-influence antics threaten to blow their cover. The muscle relaxant’s effects linger long enough for him to unwittingly insult the Foreign Secretary (Jenny Galloway), prompting one of Sauvage’s henchmen to report back to his boss.

Sauvage, sensing that English is getting too close to the truth, decides to take drastic measures and dispatches his goons to strong-arm the Queen into signing an abdication letter – much to her dismay, as it’s really for the sake of her beloved pet. The plot thickens when British officials inform Sauvage that, as the closest living relative of the monarch, he’s next in line for the throne.

Lorna visits English at his flat, where she persuades him to rejoin forces with her. Together, they infiltrate Sauvage’s French chateau and overhear his diabolical plan to turn the United Kingdom into one giant prison camp. However, English’s clumsiness strikes again when he accidentally triggers a microphone, alerting Sauvage to their presence. In a desperate bid to steal incriminating evidence, English grabs the wrong DVD, leading to further chaos.

Taken hostage by Sauvage’s goons, English and Lorna are rescued by Bough just in time for them to return to England on the day of the coronation ceremony.

As Sauvage prepares to take his rightful place on the throne, English sneaks into the proceedings with Lorna, who’s cleverly disguised as an English bishop standing right beside Sauvage. With the world watching, English boldly accuses Sauvage of treason – but in a stunning twist, he fails to realize that the fake Archbishop has long since been replaced by the real deal, leaving him looking foolish as he attempts to pull off the imposter’s mask.

As English’s orders are transmitted via radio, he springs into action, initiating a sequence of events that would shake the very foundations of global order. With the retrieved DVD now playing its contents for all to see, the majority of the world’s population is treated to an unorthodox spectacle: English, resplendent in a shower cap and underpants, boogies down to ABBA’s “Does Your Mother Know” with abandon, unwittingly captivating millions worldwide. This impromptu dance party ultimately serves as a clever diversion, allowing English to slip away unnoticed.

However, English soon returns, utilizing his aerial acrobatics skills to swing in from above and claim the coveted crown just moments before it can be placed upon Sauvage’s head. As tensions escalate, Sauvage reveals his true intentions to London, brandishing a gun and warning that he will brook no dissent, intending to reduce the country to a mere prison state. In the ensuing chaos, English takes drastic measures to prevent Sauvage’s coronation, plummeting from the wire above and inadvertently claiming the throne for himself in the process.

With Sauvage taken into custody, English shares his findings with the Queen, ultimately allowing her to reclaim her rightful place upon the throne. As a token of gratitude, she confers upon him the esteemed title of knighthood. The film’s climax is marked by a poignant moment of intimacy between English and Lorna, as they stand atop a mountainous peak. However, their tender moment is abruptly interrupted when Johnny inadvertently activates the eject button on the DVD player, sending the disc soaring into the sky. In a thrilling conclusion, Lorna takes matters into her own hands, dispatching the flying disk with a well-placed shot.

The credits roll to reveal a lighthearted postscript: as Lorna descends from her aerial triumph, she finds herself splashing down into a swimming pool, where Bough awaits, engrossed in his newspaper. Meanwhile, the enigmatic orange-haired criminal, previously described by English, lowers his own publication, his eyes lingering on the unfolding scene with an air of quiet amusement.