Top Five 2014

As comedian Andre Allen (Chris Rock) strolls through the bustling streets of New York City alongside reporter Chelsea Brown (Rosario Dawson), their conversation takes a sharp turn as they delve into the ever-changing landscape of American politics. With his quick wit, Andre quips that people will heap praise on President Obama only to shift blame when things go awry, while Chelsea posits that it’s not too far-fetched to imagine a Latina lesbian president, possibly even an Asian or handicapped leader in the future. The discussion takes a humorous turn as Andre laments that despite the progress made by African Americans, they still can’t seem to hail a cab without issue. But before long, fate intervenes and a taxi materializes at his beckoning call.

Fast-forward to a Q&A session with Charlie Rose, where we’re treated to an in-depth look at Andre’s storied past as a stand-up comedian. Before catapulting to fame with the hit film franchise “Hammy The Bear,” which co-starred Luis Guzman and featured Andre donning a cop-in-a-bear-suit persona, he was already well-established in the comedy world. However, his success didn’t come without its share of controversy; Andre has also had run-ins with the law and has battled addiction. As he navigates this new chapter in his career with the release of “Uprize,” a film that chronicles the Haitian Revolution, fans are eager to know when he’ll revisit the world of “Hammy” or return to stand-up comedy. Meanwhile, less attention is paid to his serious cinematic venture.

Andre’s frustration reaches a boiling point as he confides in his bodyguard (JB Smoove) about the lackluster response to “Uprize.” A bone of contention for Andre is a scathing review from New York Times critic James Nielson. Seeking guidance, he turns to his agent Charles (Kevin Hart), who had been skeptical of the project from the outset.

Before embarking on an in-depth interview with Chelsea, Andre joins her at her apartment to fetch her recorder. As they wait, he takes notice of a Cinderella book sitting proudly on the counter, as well as Chelsea’s mother and daughter. The latter showcases a magazine article about attracting men, penned by Chelsea herself under a pseudonym – a nod to her reluctance to use her real name for fluff pieces.

As the limousine glides through the city streets, Andre and Chelsea embark on an intimate conversation within its luxurious confines. The candid discussion delves into Andre’s recent creative drought, prompting Chelsea to inquire about the root cause of his comedic stagnation. His struggles with alcoholism are also broached, a topic that resonates deeply given Chelsea’s own four-year sobriety streak. As Andre reflects on his lowest point in 2003, Houston becomes the backdrop for a pivotal encounter with Jazzy Dee (Cedric The Entertainer), a charismatic figure claiming to be the go-to authority on indulgence.

As they meander through the city’s vibrant nightlife, Andre and Jazzy stumble upon a club where they meet an entourage of alluring women. With Jazzy promising to facilitate a night of unbridled pleasure, Andre finds himself swept up in a haze of hedonism, ordering room service for his companions and partaking in recreational substances before indulging in intimate encounters. However, as the evening wears on, Andre’s euphoria turns to revulsion when Jazzy joins the festivities, culminating in a raucous display that leaves Andre feeling morally drained.

Andre recounts this epiphanic moment to Chelsea, revealing how it led him to reevaluate his relationship with substances. The seeds of this transformation were sown as he lay shamefaced in bed, only for the two women to return and demand the $1000 each they had been promised by Jazzy. When Andre refuses to comply, they cry “Rape!” and prompt his arrest, a turning point that solidifies his commitment to sobriety.

As the limousine navigates the city streets once more, it becomes the unwitting participant in a high-speed collision with a taxi cab. Amidst the chaos, Andre and Chelsea abandon their security detail and set off on foot, weaving through the urban landscape. Their stroll takes them to a jewelry store, where Andre discovers that Erica has replaced the wedding rings with an alternate piece of jewelry, courtesy of her producers. This revelation prompts Andre to seek Chelsea’s perspective on the situation.

It becomes clear that one of the driving forces behind their union is Erica’s influence in supporting Andre’s sobriety. As they ponder the complexities of their relationship, Andre and Chelsea find themselves lost in thought amidst the city’s vibrant tapestry.

As Andre and Chelsea make their way to the apartment of some of Andre’s old friends - a motley crew consisting of Tracy Morgan, Jay Pharaoh, Leslie Jones, and Michael Che - and his ex-girlfriend Sherri Shepherd, Chelsea takes the opportunity to conduct individual interviews with each of them. What she uncovers is a mixed bag of opinions about Andre’s comedic prowess. While his ex-girlfriend confesses that she regrets breaking up with him after witnessing his meteoric rise to fame, their friends reveal that Andre was never truly funny from the start and has only maintained a mediocre level of humor to this day.

The group’s conversation turns to their top five favorite rappers, with each member eager to share their list - albeit with an unofficial sixth addition that doesn’t quite fit the standard criteria. Meanwhile, Andre is busy navigating the promotional circuit for his film “Uprize”, popping up on various radio shows like Opie and Anthony or Jim Norton’s programs. At one point, he’s instructed by a radio host to bring some much-needed “stank” to his recording, prompting Andre to unleash a barrage of expletives.

In a separate development, the press conference for “Uprize” brings together an impressive array of talent, including Taraji P. Henson and Gabourey Sidibe. However, for Andre, the Q&A session becomes a nightmare as he’s repeatedly peppered with queries about when the next Hammy movie will be forthcoming.

As Chelsea prepares to celebrate her boyfriend Brad’s (Anders Holm) birthday at a hotel, she’s in for a rude awakening. Upon arriving, she discovers that Brad has brought along an unexpected guest, Ryan (Matthew Wilkas), who’s sporting a shirt she’d given to Brad as a gift. Her growing unease is palpable as she pieces together the evidence and realizes that Brad is gay and cheating on her with Ryan.

The revelation sends Chelsea and Andre fleeing to a nearby liquor store, where they process their emotions in silence. A flashback later reveals that Brad’s infidelity wasn’t an isolated incident - he’d consistently requested Chelsea stick her finger up his rear during sex, until that became the sole focus of their intimate encounters. At dinner with friends, Brad’s cruel joke about Chelsea’s credit score only adds insult to injury.

That night, as Brad prepares for a make-up session by getting on all fours in bed, Chelsea seizes an opportunity to exact revenge. She takes a tampon, pours hot sauce on it, and then proceeds to insert it into the situation - much to Andre’s amusement, who labels her “naive” for her handling of the situation. The tension eventually boils over as Chelsea insults his film, prompting the two to share a kiss that speaks volumes about their complicated relationship.

As they retreat to the club’s bathroom, the atmosphere shifts from playful to palpable, and before long, they decide to put the brakes on their frolicking. Andre beats a hasty retreat, requesting Chelsea’s phone to place an urgent call, his own device having succumbed to the cruel whims of technology. As he scrolls through her messages, his eyes land on an email from her editor, inquiring about the status of her James Nielson review. The revelation hits Andre like a ton of bricks, leaving him reeling and devastated. He returns Chelsea’s phone, his anger now directed at her for the deception, and confesses that he’d always believed his comedic prowess was tied to his intoxication or substance abuse. The thought of transitioning, sans crutch, fills him with trepidation, and he makes a swift exit.

In the days that follow, Andre’s frustration finds an outlet in a supermarket shopping spree, where he indulges in the very items on his list. He loads up on beer cases, sneaking a cold one for himself before making his way to the checkout. A fan approaches, requesting a photo opportunity, but Andre declines, his mood still simmering from his confrontation with Chelsea. The discovery of a poster advertising Hammy The Bear - albeit rebranded as “Hammy the Beer” - proves the final straw. In a fit of rage, Andre dismantles the display, attracting the attention of authorities who ultimately haul him away.

In the confines of his jail cell, Andre reaches out to Erica, who’s seething with anger over his arrest and its potential impact on her public image. She reminds him that this fleeting taste of fame is all she has, given what she perceives as a lack of alternative creative outlets. Her parting shot is a thinly veiled threat, hinting that Andre owes her a debt for past favors - implicit sexual favors, to be specific - which she believes he’ll come to regret once the time comes when he’s forced to perform an act he doesn’t want to commit.

With bail secured by his trusty bodyguard, Andre is whisked away to Erica’s bachelor party at a strip club, where the theme revolves around none other than Hammy The Bear. Surrounded by fellow comedians Jerry Seinfeld, Adam Sandler, and Whoopi Goldberg, Andre partakes in an evening of revelry and ribald humor. As they trade tales about marriage and sexuality, he catches up with Chelsea, who’s seeking to make amends and extends an olive branch - inviting him to join her on a journey of discovery.

As they step into the iconic Comedy Cellar, Andre’s nervous energy is palpable as he prepares to take the stage for the first time in years. Chelsea and their bodyguard accompany him, offering words of encouragement before he takes the microphone. The audience is initially skeptical, but Andre’s sharp wit and clever wordplay quickly win them over. His performance is a masterclass in comedy, leaving the crowd in stitches and begging for more. In the aftermath, Andre confesses to Chelsea that he feels utterly insane, having rekindled his passion for stand-up after an unexpected conversation with DMX. The rapper-turned-singer revealed his secret desire to trade in his mic for a microphone, despite being tone-deaf.

As they drop off Chelsea at her doorstep, sharing one final kiss before parting ways, Andre asks her to list her top five rappers – a request that leaves her smiling as she rattles off the names. Adding an unexpected sixth option, she seals the deal with a wink. As they drive away from the scene of their tender farewell, the bodyguard chimes in, cautioning Andre against letting his feelings for Chelsea slip away. However, the comedian is too preoccupied to heed this advice, instead digging through the party favors from earlier that evening. Amidst the assortment of gifts – a scented candle, a bottle of vodka, and a few other surprises – he uncovers a lone slipper, a whimsical reminder of Cinderella’s timeless tale.

As Andre contemplates his next move, his expression shifts from uncertainty to determination, earning a knowing smile from his trusted bodyguard. With the seeds of inspiration sown, Andre’s journey takes on a newfound sense of purpose and direction, leaving him poised for what promises to be an unforgettable adventure ahead.