Daughter from Danang 2002

Birth and Early Life

Heidi Neville Bub, originally named Mai Thi Hiep, was born on December 10, 1968, in Da Nang, Vietnam. Her early life was starkly affected by her father's abandonment and her mother's struggle to provide for her family during the escalating conflict in Vietnam.

Encounter with American Serviceman

Amid the turmoil of the Vietnam War, Heidi's mother, Mai Thi Kim, met her biological father, an American serviceman, while working at an American military base. This encounter would shape the trajectory of Heidi's life as it led to her eventual adoption.

Fear of Violence

As the North Vietnamese army approached Da Nang, Mai Thi Kim grew increasingly alarmed for her daughter's safety due to fears of violence against mixed-race children. This concern ultimately compelled her to make a heartbreaking decision regarding Heidi's future.

Sent to the United States

At just six years old, Heidi was sent to the United States and placed in an orphanage managed by the Holt Adoption Agency. This marked the beginning of her journey away from her Vietnamese roots and into a new, unfamiliar world.

Adoption by Ann Neville

Heidi was adopted by Ann Neville, a devout single woman who rebranded her as Heidi. Ann provided Heidi with a new life but also imposed strict rules that limited her social interactions and instilled a fabricated narrative about her origins.

Relocation to Pulaski

After living in Columbia for a year, Heidi and Ann moved to Pulaski, Tennessee. This transition was another significant change in Heidi's life, contributing to her ongoing struggles with identity and belonging.

Estrangement from Ann Neville

After her freshman year of college, Heidi faced devastating news when Ann packed her belongings and declared her no longer her daughter. This rejection solidified Heidi's feelings of abandonment, adding complexity to her journey of self-discovery.

Discovery of Mother's Letter

In her quest for closure years later, Heidi reached out to the Holt Adoption Agency and discovered a letter from her biological mother, sent in 1991. The letter contained an emotional plea for reunion, highlighting the overlooked connection between Heidi and her past.

Journey Back to Vietnam

Motivated by the letter and her desire to connect with her roots, Heidi, along with journalist Tran Tuong Nhu, returned to Vietnam to reunite with her biological mother. This journey marked a significant turn in her life as she sought to confront her past.

Emotional Reunion

Upon reuniting with her mother, Heidi was flooded with emotions, experiencing both joy and tears. However, the lack of familiarity with her culture posed immediate challenges, leaving Heidi feeling overwhelmed and disoriented.

Culture Shock

As Heidi navigated her new surroundings, she faced a severe culture shock that affected her ability to connect with the customs, food, and language. This experience was exacerbated by the overwhelming familial affection that felt suffocating compared to her upbringing.

Family Financial Expectations

Heidi's half-brother assumed the role of family patriarch, communicating their expectation that Heidi support Mai Thi financially. This pressure strained Heidi's emotions as she grappled with loyalty to her family versus her own capabilities.

Conflict and Emotional Turmoil

Faced with her family's requests and cultural misunderstandings, Heidi experienced an emotional upheaval. The expectations from her Vietnamese family coupled with her personal limits left her feeling exploited and unable to maintain their connection.

Disconnection from Family

In the months following her visit, Heidi received letters from her Vietnamese family solely asking for financial assistance. Ultimately feeling exploited, she chose not to respond, marking a painful disconnection from her roots.