Who's Harry Crumb? 1989

As the opening credits fade away, we are introduced to Jennifer Downing (Renee Coleman), a young woman whose idyllic spa experience is disrupted by an unexpected and sinister twist - her abduction while indulging in a relaxing mud bath. The next day, Jennifer’s father, P.J. Downing (Barry Corbin), a prominent shipping mogul, and his elegant wife, Helen (Annie Potts), meet with Eliot Draisen (Jeffery Jones), the enigmatic president of Crumb and Crumb Investigations, to plead for his help in finding their missing daughter. Initially, Eliot is reluctant to take on the case, but P.J.’s persistence ultimately leads him to assign Harry Crumb (John Candy), a talented but unorthodox detective, to investigate Jennifer’s disappearance.

In Tulsa, Oklahoma, Harry Crumb finds himself in an unconventional disguise - an elderly window washer complete with black-face makeup, a fake bush mustache, and a grey wig reminiscent of boxing promoter Don King. As he perches ten stories high above a seedy high-rise hotel, snapping incriminating photos of a compromising couple, his attention is caught by the swinging platform’s pendulum-like motion. The fall is inevitable, and Harry finds himself swinging through an apartment window into an awaiting chair.

The following morning, Harry presents his findings to his client, Mrs. MacIntyre (Michelle Goodear), only to realize he has mistakenly targeted her. A bus ride to Los Angeles brings him face-to-face with Eliot Draisen once more, where Harry recounts the details of the Jennifer Downing case from memory. When he presses for information on the missing jewels, Eliot’s response reveals that this is indeed a kidnapping case - not a high-stakes heist. Seemingly oblivious to the gravity of his mistake, Harry departs, unaware that Eliot has already alerted Dwayne (Doug Steckler), Jennifer’s captor, to the fact that the detective is even more bumbling than expected.

As Harry’s feet got drenched by the sprinkler system at the opulent Downing mansion, he couldn’t help but notice the striking resemblance between Jennifer’s younger sister, Nikki Downing (Shawnee Smith), and her stepmother, Helen. His clumsiness knew no bounds as he met P.J., who was meticulously crafting fishing lures in his study. Harry’s luck took another turn for the worse when he inserted his hand into an aquarium, only to have a dog fish latch onto it. P.J.’s words of wisdom about Jennifer being his favorite daughter fell on deaf ears as Harry’s attention was drawn to Helen’s flirtatious exchange with her tennis coach, Vince Barnes (Tim Thomerson), outside the window. Meanwhile, Harry’s haphazard throwing skills at the dartboard led to a spectacular display of carnage, leaving P.J.’s prized mini ship model in pieces.

Disguised as De Roach, a flamboyant Hungarian hairstylist with a shaven head and blue leather getup, Harry infiltrated the spa to interrogate the woman responsible for giving Jennifer the fateful mud bath that ended in her disappearance. As he reenacted the crime, his artificial beard inexplicably fell into the mud-covered victim’s crotch. With his dignity bruised, Harry regrouped and learned from the attendant that Helen had insisted Jennifer attend the spa appointment on the day of the kidnapping.

As night fell, P.J. received a chilling ransom note demanding $10 million. As he and Harry conferenced, Detective Casey (Valri Bromfield), a no-nonsense LAPD female detective with a penchant for skepticism, arrived to take charge of the case, dismissing private investigators as incompetent and untrustworthy. Meanwhile, Eliot’s clandestine meeting with Helen in the horse stables yielded a ransom note before he attempted to woo her with his affections. Rebuffed, Eliot retreated, leaving Harry to ponder the motives behind Helen’s actions. Nikki’s candid revelations about Helen’s character – a money-hungry nymphomaniac – left Harry convinced that she was the mastermind behind Jennifer’s kidnapping. Seizing the opportunity, he enlisted Nikki as his trusted assistant in his quest for the truth.

The following day, Harry and Nikki employ an unconventional surveillance technique, utilizing cardboard periscopes to gather intel on Helen and Vince Barnes as they indulge in a relaxing soak at the marina’s hot tub. From his vantage point, Harry inadvertently overhears Helen’s lament about it taking her two years for P.J. to leave her a bequest in his will, only for the ransom demands to potentially derail those plans. Meanwhile, Vince suggests eliminating P.J. altogether before he pays out the ransom. As Harry becomes increasingly distracted, he loses his footing and tumbles onto the rooftop of a nearby eatery, where a young boy’s hasty decision to activate a ceiling fan sends it spinning wildly.

That evening, Helen and Vince take steps to “adjust” the brakes on P.J.’s vehicle. The next day, Harry bursts into Eliot’s office, passionately convinced that Helen is behind the kidnapping and carrying on an illicit affair with Vince. Eliot’s reaction is one of shock and dismay, prompting him to redouble his efforts to win Helen over.

Later, as Vince and Helen depart P.J.’s estate following a visit to the latter’s car, Harry and Nikki arrive, requesting permission to borrow the vehicle. As they follow Helen and Vince, Harry confides in Nikki about feeling trapped by the expectations of his family legacy, while Nikki reveals her own struggles with feelings of inadequacy in comparison to her sister. Harry believes Jennifer should be envious of Nikki’s unique qualities. Their conversation is cut short as they descend a hill, only to have their brakes fail. Harry expertly navigates between oncoming traffic before locking horns with Vince’s vehicle and eventually coming to rest amidst the branches of a small orange tree.

Following P.J.’s mechanic’s confirmation that the brakes were indeed tampered with, Harry logically concludes that Helen and Vince are behind the sabotage. However, he remains oblivious to the true target of their scheme, mistakenly assuming that he was the intended victim rather than P.J. After this incident, Nikki shares her involvement in Harry’s case with her father, only for P.J. to instruct her to leave the detective alone. Despite this, Harry is grateful for Nikki’s assistance and continues to solicit her help.

As the night wore on, Harry donned the guise of an Indian air-conditioner repairman, his turban and brown olive-colored face paint expertly concealing his identity as he smuggled Nikki into Vince’s apartment building within a large toolbox. Meanwhile, Harry scaled the air vent while Nikki provided guidance via short-wave radio, their clandestine operation unfolding with precision. As he ascended, Harry listened intently to the hushed conversation between Vince and Helen, his gaze thwarted by the narrow vent openings. Unbeknownst to him, Eliot Draisen was orchestrating a separate plan from outside the apartment building, his ominous tone commanding Vince’s attention as he reminded him of their impending tennis lesson at the country club. With Vince absent, Eliot slipped into the apartment and manipulated Helen with ruthless efficiency, blackmailing her for sex while she freshened up in the bathroom. As they indulged in their illicit affair, Eliot’s gaze was drawn to an old film-noir movie playing on TV, its themes of murder and betrayal resonating deeply. Inspired by the cinematic tale, Eliot voiced his approval, deciding to emulate the characters’ example once he received the ransom payment.

As Harry navigated the air vent, he mistook Vince’s voice for that of Eliot, working a camera through the vent to capture compromising photographs. Unbeknownst to him, Helen had grown tired of their lovemaking, complaining about the sweltering heat, prompting Eliot to turn on the air conditioning. The sudden gust of wind sent Harry tumbling into the apartment manager’s office, where he struck Joe Flattery (the unsuspecting manager) unconscious.

Later that night, Eliot delivered another ransom note to the Downing mansion, demanding payment by Friday. However, Helen intercepted the message and altered it, shifting the deadline to Monday, thereby buying herself and Vince more time to eliminate P.J. The next day, Harry presented Eliot with the incriminating photographs, claiming they showed Vince and Helen engaged in an illicit affair. Eliot’s eyes widened as he gazed upon the evidence, his own image entwined with Helen’s in a compromising embrace. Though stunned, Eliot was relieved that Harry seemed oblivious to the truth. The clever operative boasted about having so unnerved the kidnappers that they had altered their plans, producing the revised ransom note as proof.

Harry’s antics continued unabated, as he carelessly climbed onto an exercise bicycle and inadvertently released the brake. The resulting chaos saw the bicycle crash into Eliot’s prized dinosaur egg trophy shelf, further escalating the already precarious situation.

As P.J. answers a phone call from Jennifer at the mansion, Harry, Eliot, and Detective Casey gather around, intrigued by the desperate tone of her voice. Jennifer’s pleas fall on anxious ears as she warns that her life hangs in the balance unless the ransom demand is met by noon. The stakes escalate when she instructs them to deliver the briefcase containing the ransom money at a phone booth located within the Hollywood Park horse racetrack. Detective Casey proposes bugging the suitcase, an idea Harry agrees with on one condition: that the police keep their distance. With the plan set in motion, Harry transforms into a jockey of considerable girth and makes his way to the racetrack.

At the designated location, Harry squeezes into a miniature phone booth, receiving a call from Eliot as he waits. The instructions are clear: hand over the money to none other than Eliot Draisen himself. As expected, Eliot appears on the scene, claiming the ransom and leaving Harry stuck in the phone booth. Nikki’s timely arrival finds Harry still trying to free himself, but not before sharing crucial information about the kidnappers’ plans to flee to Buenos Aires.

Meanwhile, Eliot deploys a clever tactic to evade Detective Casey’s pursuit by casually tossing a “bug” out his car window and then disposing of the empty suitcase in a nearby dumpster. Unbeknownst to him, Vince and Helen have been tracking his movements and stumble upon the seemingly abandoned briefcase, only to find it bereft of its valuable contents.

Eliot’s next move takes him to the airport, where he makes contact with Helen, proposing they escape together to Buenos Aires with their newfound wealth. Helen initially agrees but later reveals her true intentions: she had planned to eliminate P.J. for the cash, and now that Eliot is rich, she sees herself as his partner in crime. Vince’s timely arrival with a pistol forces Helen to switch sides once more, leaving Eliot enraged. The situation takes a dramatic turn when Vince knocks Eliot unconscious, chains him to a maintenance closet chair, and disappears into the shadows.

As Harry (Tom Berenger) and Nikki (Meg Ryan) arrive at the airport, Harry’s forgetfulness proves to be a significant hindrance. Unaware that he has a steel plate in his head, Harry inadvertently triggers a security alert at the metal detector, prompting a delay in their departure. Meanwhile, Helen looks out onto the tarmac to witness Harry careening towards the plane on a boarding stair truck driven by Nikki, who loses control and sends the vehicle crashing into the aircraft. The ensuing chaos ensues as the cart hurtles through the terminal, knocking over a baggage cart that, in turn, smashes into a power shed where Dwayne (Robert Miranda) is holding Jennifer (Jane Sibbett), leaving the latter unconscious. In a subsequent sequence of events, Nikki’s truck crashes into the plane, causing Harry to be propelled through the boarding door and onto the aircraft floor. As Vince (Teddy Wilson) prepares to intervene with his gun, Harry claims to possess knowledge of aikido and inadvertently kicks off his shoes, which then fly into Vince’s face, rendering him unconscious.

Later, as Detective Casey (Richard Herd) delivers a begrudging apology to Harry, they are interrupted by the sound of Eliot Draisen (David Paymer) frantically kicking at a closet door. Harry can’t resist boasting about having foiled Eliot’s kidnapping plot, particularly in light of Jennifer’s safe recovery. In a surprising turn of events, when Harry removes Eliot’s gag, the latter inadvertently confesses to masterminding the entire ordeal, citing his inability to comprehend how someone as inept as Harry managed to unravel his plan. A stunned Harry promptly exits the room and instructs nearby police officers to apprehend and book Eliot.

Days later, Harry finds himself installed in the role of president at the company. As he says goodbye to Nikki and P.J. Downing (Jeffrey Jones), he reflects on the safe return of Jennifer. Nikki requests that they remain in touch should another case arise, to which Harry agrees. Following their departure, Harry settles into his new office, now occupied by Eliot’s former desk. The tranquility is short-lived, as a telephone call from an anonymous source beckons him to San Francisco to assist in the resolution of a murder at a gay bar. Without hesitation, Harry accepts the case.

As the curtain closes on this gripping tale, Harry (sporting an uncanny resemblance to the inimitable Divine) dons his most daring disguise yet - that of a flamboyant drag queen. With a confident swagger, he strides out of his office, leaving behind the humdrum routine of Crumb and Crumb Investigations, bound for the City by the Bay. But before departing, Harry takes a moment to impart some sage advice to his trusty secretary: “This case is going to be a doozy.” With that ominous warning, he sets off on his journey, leaving the shattered remains of his office’s glass door as a lasting testament to the chaos that has unfolded. As the credits roll, the audience is treated to one final wink from the filmmakers, a clever flourish that perfectly captures the film’s irreverent spirit.