Julien Donkey-Boy 1999

In the heart of a vibrant New York City park, an unusual incident unfolds between Julien (a young man struggling with untreated schizophrenia) and a young boy joyfully playing among a group of turtles. Captivated by the reptiles, Julien eagerly inquires about claiming one for himself, only to face rejection. His disappointment swiftly spirals into a shocking act of violence, as he strangles the boy, hurriedly burying his lifeless form in the mud while pleading for divine forgiveness.

Upon his return home, Julien is engulfed in a tense and chaotic family atmosphere. His father, an emotionally detached German patriarch, asserts control over the household with grand tales of national pride, excessive drinking, and a troubling tendency for both physical and psychological abuse directed at his younger son Chris (an aspiring wrestler tirelessly refining his skills). The family’s grandmother remains largely indifferent to her relatives, casting an additional shadow over their strained interactions.

Chris’s daily existence is dominated by enforced outdoor exercises, culminating in a persevering struggle against his father’s harsh methods. In a peculiar expression of affection, the father implores Chris to wear his deceased mother’s wedding dress for a dance. Meanwhile, Julien finds some semblance of peace in his position as a teacher’s aide at a school for the blind, where he spends a significant amount of his leisure time voicing his fears, whispering to himself on the busy streets, and engaging in imaginary dialogues with Adolf Hitler.

Julien’s mental turmoil is heightened by his unresolved grief over his mother’s death. His sister Pearl (a young woman who is pregnant) occasionally soothes his emotional pains by impersonating their mother during phone calls. Pearl, in the meantime, busies herself finding baby clothes and compiling a list of names for her future child, while she learns to play the harp as a new hobby. Chris’s compulsive practice of wrestling moves on makeshift opponents often leads to bouts with Julien. Their father, scripture in hand, recounts historical tales, berates Julien and Pearl for their artistic interests — derogatorily labeling them as “artsy-fartsy” and “a dilettante and a slut,” respectively — while nostalgically longing for his deceased wife.

As they accompany their father to a local Baptist church, the resonant sermon deeply impacts Julien’s spirit, leaving enduring thoughts that will shape his emotional landscape in the days ahead. Weeks roll by, leading to a special outing where Pearl and Julien enjoy a day at an indoor skating rink. Amid the swirling blades and buoyant laughter, Julien attempts to sell his crafted skates to a young Hasidic man while Pearl, proudly showcasing her pregnancy, skates joyfully across the frost. However, her joyful glide leads to a painful misstep, causing her to fall and tragically resulting in the loss of their unborn child, leaving Pearl devastated and Julien burdened with guilt.

In the somber aftermath of this tragedy, Julien grapples with an overwhelming sense of duty. He becomes obsessively focused on cradling the lifeless form of his sibling, strongly believing it is his to hold. The caring nurse, touched by his earnestness, allows him to hold the tiny being, oblivious to the extent of his desperation. As Julien rides home on the bus, tightly holding the precious bundle, he retreats to the solace of his room, wrapping himself and the infant in blankets as if to protect them from the harshness of reality. Alone in his thoughts, he whispers frantic prayers into the darkness, seeking comfort in the only way he understands.