Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters 2013

As the moon cast its silvery glow over the dense forest, Hansel and Gretel found themselves forsaken by their father’s absence, leaving them to navigate the treacherous wilderness alone. Their journey took a dark turn when they stumbled upon a tantalizing gingerbread house, only to be ensnared by the cunning clutches of an ancient crone. The witch’s sweet-toothed trap forced Hansel to gorge on sugary indulgences while Gretel was tasked with preparing the oven, but the resourceful siblings outwitted their captor and sent her tumbling into the very same fiery pit she had intended for them.

The experience left an indelible mark on Hansel, whose insatiable craving for candy soon gave way to a dependence on insulin shots, a constant reminder of his diabetic condition. Gretel, meanwhile, emerged with a fierce determination to vanquish all manner of witches that lurked in the shadows. Together, they evolved into ruthless bounty hunters, their exploits shrouded in mystery as they effortlessly dispatched their enemies, immune to the very curses and hexes they sought to destroy.

Their latest quest brought them to Augsburg, where they foiled Sheriff Berringer’s plans to execute an innocent young woman, Mina. The siblings’ reputation as defenders of the innocent had already spread, and now Mayor Englemann commissioned their services to rescue a coterie of children abducted by the dark forces that lurked beyond the town’s borders.

Unbeknownst to Hansel and Gretel, Sheriff Berringer had his own plans in motion. He hired four trackers, each equipped with an arsenal of deadly skills, to track down the missing youngsters. However, their mission was cut short when Muriel, a powerful grand witch, dispatched her minions, leaving only one survivor to stumble back into town, his body a ticking time bomb that would soon detonate in a blaze of fiery fury.

As Hansel and Gretel delved deeper into the mystery, they apprehended the Tall Witch and subjected her to a grueling interrogation. Her revelations sent shivers down their spines: the witches were preparing for the apocalyptic Feast of the Blood Moon, a ritual that required the sacrifice of 12 innocent children, six boys and six girls, each born under a separate month. When they discovered that one more girl remained at large, Berringer refused to cooperate with them in tracking her down.

The stage was set for chaos when Muriel, the Candy Witch, and the troll Edward launched a surprise attack on the unsuspecting town, abducting their quarry and freeing their comrade from captivity. Gretel fell prey to the mayhem, left unconscious and helpless as the townspeople scrambled to contain the disaster. Hansel, meanwhile, managed to grasp hold of a fleeing Candy Witch by her broomstick, but his momentary triumph was short-lived, as he tumbled off the enchanted conveyance and vanished into the darkness of the forest.

As the morning sun rises over the forest, Hansel’s battered form is discovered by the compassionate Mina, who swiftly whisks him away to a revitalizing spring to soothe his grievous wounds. Meanwhile, Gretel embarks on a perilous journey into the woods, driven by an insatiable desire to find her missing brother. However, her quest is brutally interrupted when she’s ambushed by Berringer and his ruthless cohorts, who have taken it upon themselves to apprehend her for allegedly luring the witches to their town with her cunning allure. Just as all hope seems lost, Edward bursts forth from the underbrush, unleashing a ferocious onslaught of violence upon the assailants before carrying Gretel to the tranquil waters of a waterfall to nurse her injuries. As she recovers, Gretel inquires about Edward’s motivations for saving her, and he reveals that trolls are notorious enablers of witchcraft before disappearing into the shadows.

As Hansel and Gretel finally reunite at an abandoned cabin, they’re met with a surprise discovery - this is not only their childhood home but also a den of dark magic, where the malevolent forces of Muriel await. The sinister sorceress materializes before them, unveiling the shocking truth about their past. It’s revealed that Hansel and Gretel’s mother, Adrianna (Kathrin Kühnel), was a powerful white witch who dared to defy her own kind by marrying a humble farmer (Thomas Scharff). On the fateful night of the Blood Moon, Muriel concocted a potion that required the heart of a white witch to make witches impervious to fire. Adrianna’s formidable powers made her an unacceptable sacrifice, so Muriel set her sights on Gretel, unaware that she herself was a white witch. Muriel spread a malicious rumor throughout the village about Hansel and Gretel’s mother, prompting their father to abandon them in the forest. When he returned home, he found his wife burned at the stake while the villagers hanged him before his very eyes.

In the aftermath of this revelatory truth, the siblings find themselves pitted against Muriel in a desperate struggle for survival. In the heat of battle, Muriel stabs Hansel and absconds with Gretel to prepare her for the dark ritual that demands a white witch’s heart under the Blood Moon’s crimson glow.

As dawn breaks, Hansel’s eyes flicker open to reveal Mina, a mystifying white witch, standing over him. With a subtle gesture, she bestows her blessing upon the siblings’ arsenal, imbuing it with an otherworldly potency. As they ascend to the crest of a hill, their mission becomes clear: disrupt the macabre Feast of the Blood Moon. Mina’s Gatling gun unleashes a hail of bullets, mowing down scores of witches as Hansel and Ben confront Muriel’s minions. Amidst the chaos, Edward defies his mistress’s orders to release Gretel from her grasp, only to be precipitously hurled off the cliff by Muriel herself.

As the sun rises, Mina’s blessing proves a double-edged sword, rendering the witches’ ceremony futile. The surviving sorceresses attempt to flee on their broomsticks, but Hansel and Ben have prepared an ambush. Piano wire traps ensnare the airborne witches, while Ben takes aim at Muriel, ultimately sending her crashing to the ground. Gretel, meanwhile, stumbles upon Edward’s lifeless form and employs her stun gun-turned-defibrillator to revive him.

The siblings then track down Muriel’s trail, which leads them to the foreboding gingerbread house of their childhood nightmares. As they confront the evil matriarch, Mina meets a tragic demise at the hands of Muriel, her own life force ebbing away with each passing moment. Undeterred, Hansel and Gretel engage in a merciless battle against Muriel within the sugary confines of the gingerbread house, ultimately beheading their nemesis with a shovel.

Victorious but scarred by their ordeal, Hansel and Gretel collect the reward for rescuing the children before embarking on their next perilous adventure, with Ben and Edward joining their ranks. The curtain closes on this dark fairy tale, the siblings forever changed by their experiences in the eerie realm of the Blood Moon.