Postal 2008

As the Postal Dude, a tall and slender individual with a fiery mane of red hair, a goatee, sunglasses, a black leather trench coat, and a T-shirt emblazoned with the enigmatic visage of a grey alien, inhabits his dilapidated caravan trailer nestled behind a house in the quaint town of Paradise, Arizona. His nagging wife, affectionately known as “The Bitch”, shares this humble abode with him. The game’s narrative is divided into seven days, Monday to Friday, each presenting its own set of objectives for the Postal Dude to accomplish.

Upon awakening at the start of each day, the player is tasked with completing a series of seemingly innocuous errands, such as procuring milk or confessing sins. However, the ultimate goal of Postal 2 lies in the ability to complete these tasks in any manner the player deems fit - whether through peaceful means or by unleashing chaos and violence upon the unsuspecting populace. This is reflected in the game’s tagline: “Remember, it’s only as violent as you are!” The player has the liberty to approach each task in a multitude of ways, often with multiple solutions available to achieve the desired outcome.

A unique aspect of the gameplay experience is the inclusion of a mission that can only be activated when the Postal Dude decides to take a momentary pause from his daily routine and relieve himself. In this instance, the player must navigate Postal Dude’s quest to seek treatment for his newly diagnosed case of gonorrhea.

Throughout the game, the Postal Dude finds himself constantly provoked by the townspeople, who seem to delight in testing his patience. He is subjected to a series of indignities, including being given the finger, mugged, attacked by various groups of protesters, and harassed by an obnoxious convenience store owner/terrorist and his patrons who insist on cutting before him in line. The Postal Dude’s daily life is further disrupted by encounters with a marching band, the murderous toy mascot Krotchy, members of the Paradise Police Department and its SWAT team, overzealous ATF agents, the National Guard, an eccentric religious cult, cannibalistic butcher shop workers, fanatical al-Qaeda terrorists (including the infamous Osama bin Laden), and even former child actor Gary Coleman, to name a few.

As the clock strikes Friday afternoon, the curtain closes on the twisted game, and chaos erupts in its wake. The fabric of society frays, devolving into anarchy as lawlessness reigns supreme. A somber sky turns dark, and cats begin their macabre descent, like a morbid harbinger of doom. Meanwhile, the townspeople arm themselves to the teeth, and the streets become a battleground where random gunfire erupts, punctuating the air with a deadly rhythm. Amidst this apocalyptic backdrop, Postal Dude (Gary Coleman) returns home to his humble trailer, only to find himself embroiled in a heated argument with his wife over a perceived slight - her unfulfilled request for “rocky road” ice cream at the game’s inception. The tension builds until, in a shocking turn of events, a gunshot rings out, leaving players on the edge of their seats as the credits roll.