The Last American Virgin 1982

Last American Virgin is a comedy-drama that serves as a remake of the 1978 Israeli film titled Eskimo Limon (Lemon Popsicle). The story centers around three American high school students: the kind-hearted protagonist, Gary (Lawrence Monoson), who works as a pizza delivery boy to make ends meet, along with his two best friends: the suave ladies’ man Rick (Steve Antin) and the lovable comic relief, David (Joe Rubbo). As the plot unfolds, we follow their many awkward and often humorous attempts at losing their virginity.

One night, the trio picks up three girls at their regular diner hangout under the pretense of bringing cocaine (which turns out to be just Sweet’n Low). At the house party, Gary finds himself paired with Millie, an overweight girl who is a friend of the other attractive girls. Unfortunately, their fun is cut short when Gary’s parents unexpectedly arrive home, igniting a series of chaotic events. Meanwhile, David, mistakenly thinking Gary’s mother is one of the girls, accidentally wanders into her path and ends up being thrown out of the house wearing nothing but his underwear.

In another twist of fate, Gary delivers a pizza to Carmela (Louisa Moritz), a stunning Mexican woman whose sailor boyfriend is often absent. She flirts suggestively, but Gary, overwhelmed with shyness, hesitates to make a move. Ultimately, he convinces his friends to visit her again, claiming they were nearby for another pizza delivery. Carmela welcomes them with music and tantalizing dance moves. She soon engages in a sexual encounter with both Rick and David, but when her boyfriend Paco unexpectedly arrives, they hastily make their escape just as Gary is about to have his moment.

As the story progresses, a love triangle forms involving Gary, Rick, and a new girl at school named Karen (Diane Franklin). Initially drawn to the bad boy Rick, Karen develops an affection for the gentler Gary, who often lingers nearby. One fateful night, Rick and Karen’s relationship crosses a line when they have sex under the bleachers, leading to an unexpected pregnancy that pits her against Rick when he abandons her. In his kind-hearted way, Gary steps in to assist Karen by funding her abortion through selling his belongings and borrowing from his boss.

After the procedure, Gary and Karen retreat to his grandmother’s summerhouse to let her recover, enjoying their time together, which blossoms into a deeper connection. As her 18th birthday approaches, Gary musters the courage to buy her a lovely gold locket for the occasion. However, his hopes for a bright future shatter when he walks in on Karen embracing Rick at her birthday party, seemingly back together after everything that had transpired.

As Gary grapples with the reality that “nice guys always finish last,” he leaves the party with a heavy heart—a poignant conclusion to this teen comedy where not every tale ends on a high note. Taking Karen’s gift with him, Gary drives home, emotionally battered by the whirlwind of events.

The End.

(Hey, not all teen comedies have to have a happy ending, after all.)