The Machine 2023

At a bustling Moscow casino, a notorious gangster known as Jovan Savic finds himself captivated by the side-splitting anecdotes of Bert Kreischer. Among these amusing tales is Bert’s infamous “Machine” story, which reveals the wild escapades he encountered with the Russian mafia during his college days, all while hinting at deeper, more intricate layers woven beneath the humor. Jovan becomes increasingly convinced that Bert possesses something he desperately desires.

The narrative delves into Bert’s journey as a comedian, showcasing the intricate balance he strikes between pursuing his comedic aspirations and fulfilling his family obligations. His evolving relationship with LeeAnn adds significant emotional depth to his responsibilities as a father to Sasha and Tatiana. The story reaches a boiling point when a scandal erupts following Sasha’s arrest at one of Bert’s lavish parties, thrusting the family into the unforgiving glare of the media spotlight.

During Sasha’s birthday celebration, latent feelings of inadequacy resurface, intensified by the sudden appearance of Albert, Bert’s estranged father. Albert’s critical remarks about the “Machine” narrative exacerbate the family’s tensions, especially when Irina becomes adamant about shielding Sasha from a DJ with ties to the menacing Jovan.

Reluctantly, Bert must join forces with Albert and Irina for a perilous journey to Moscow. In the process, he rekindles his friendship with Sponge, who fondly reminisces about Bert’s notoriety, leading to a lighthearted slap fight. Flashbacks, vividly brought to life by Jimmy Tatro, illustrate Bert’s younger days, notably a disastrous train heist from 1999 involving a criminal named Igor, which not only tarnished his relationships but also solidified his infamous status.

As their adventure unfolds through the vibrant yet perilous streets of Russia, Bert unwittingly gains notoriety for a local beer. The plot thickens when Irina’s brother, Vanya, becomes entangled in a tumultuous family feud. With tensions escalating, the sound of gunfire forces Bert and Albert to seek refuge, while Irina’s courageous rescue effort dramatically alters the course of their escapade.

In a crucial moment at a train station, Bert’s chaotic past resurfaces, raising suspicions about Igor’s intentions as he clutches a significant pocket watch. Despite the allure of his tumultuous past, Bert remains steadfast in his desire to distance himself from that life. The situation intensifies when Sponge betrays Irina, prompting Albert to embody courage in an effort to protect his son.

In an unforeseen turn of events, Bert receives aid from the genuine Igor, who decides to abandon his criminal lifestyle for the sake of his family. Irina’s path to healing paves the way for a heartfelt discussion about their father-daughter relationship. With Sasha’s arrest broadcasted for all to witness, Bert undertakes a sincere quest to redefine his identity beyond his party-centric persona.

In the quest for renewal, Bert and Irina set out to rescue Albert, who has been captured by Irina’s brother Alexei. In a high-stakes confrontation, Albert hands Bert a bottle of vodka, urging him to “reclaim your essence as ‘the motherfucking Machine.’” This pivotal moment ignites Bert’s determination, culminating in an electrifying showdown against the criminals.

As their familial bonds deepen, Irina inspires her father to treasure the pocket watch, creating a path for an unexpected reconciliation that reinforces her significance within the family structure. With newfound confidence, Irina prepares to lead.

Upon returning home, Bert and Albert confront the daunting challenge of healing their fractured relationship, with Bert making a promise to be a more engaged husband and father. Through transformative therapy sessions, he learns to embrace the enlightening experiences he encountered in Russia, vowing to share an enthralling and rejuvenated version of his legendary “Machine” tale.