Witless Protection 2008

In the quaint town of [insert town name], Deputy Larry Stalder nurtures a hidden aspiration to swap his badge for an FBI insignia. His journey takes an unforeseen twist when he gets involved in what seems like a high-stakes kidnapping. However, he soon realizes that the “kidnappers” are actually government agents transporting Madeleine (played by Jenny McCarthy), a crucial witness for an upcoming corruption trial in Chicago. Determined to rectify his mistake and earn the FBI’s praise, Larry stumbles upon a tangled web of conspiracy involving Arthur Grimsley, the very person Madeleine plans to testify against.

As the reality of the situation unfolds, Larry becomes enmeshed in a dangerous cat-and-mouse game with Arthur’s henchmen. A spontaneous meeting at a motel leads him to forge an uneasy partnership with Madeleine, and together they embark on a harrowing escape, always trying to outsmart Wilford Duvall, the cold-hearted head of security for Arthur. To further throw off their pursuers, they hatch a scheme to fake Madeleine’s death, granting them a critical window to strategize and plot their next moves.

Upon reaching Chicago, Larry seizes a golden opportunity to infiltrate Arthur’s elite circle by entering a high-stakes polo match. His success earns him an invite to a lavish charity gala hosted at the millionaire mogul’s extravagant mansion. There, he is laser-focused on uncovering the evidence against Arthur, securely locked away in a formidable safe on the premises. While Madeleine dances with her former lover-turned-foe, Larry cunningly navigates through the maze of treachery and illicit dealings.

What follows is a series of bold encounters, with Larry using his wits to outmaneuver Wilford in the mansion’s grand display room and broker a deal with a shady FBI agent for critical intel. The thrilling climax pits Larry against Arthur himself, where he surprisingly presents the evidence—only to disclose that it features a video of his own hilariously embarrassing karaoke performance.

With Arthur finally incarcerated, Larry receives an offer to join the FBI, but he politely declines, choosing instead to uphold the role of sheriff in his beloved hometown. As Madeleine bids farewell, Larry joyfully reunites with his girlfriend Connie, embracing both their relationship and his revitalized sense of duty in a small town where justice has finally been restored.