Wonka 2023

The curtain opens on a whimsical world as Willy Wonka (Timothee Chalamet) sets foot in a new city, his ship docked at the esteemed Galleries Gourmet (“A Hatful of Dreams”). As he explores the bustling streets, his fortune ebbs away like sand between his fingers, leaving him penniless and without a place to lay his head. It is here that Willy Wonka’s fortunes take a turn for the worse, as he finds himself at the mercy of Mr. Bleacher (Tom Davis), a behemoth of a man who offers him refuge in his humble abode shared with Mrs. Scrubbit (Olivia Colman). The pair’s hospitality seems genuine enough, as they treat Willy to a glass of gin and a cozy room for the night. But amidst the warmth and welcome, Noodle (Calah Lane), a young girl with a keen eye for detail, whispers words of caution in Willy’s ear: read the fine print before signing on the dotted line.

The next morning, Willy takes to the town square, eager to introduce himself to the crowd and showcase his sublime creations, which he dubs Hoverchocs. These delectable treats are infused with a special flying bug that grants the consumer an otherworldly experience – a sensation that is not lost on three local chocolatiers: Arthur Slugworth (Paterson Joseph), Fickelgruber (Matthew Baynton), and Prodnose (Matt Lucas). Despite their initial skepticism, they sample Willy’s Hoverchocs, only to find themselves floating through the air as the bug’s effects take hold. Willy, sensing an opportunity, allows the crowd to indulge in his wares, but soon finds himself at odds with the Chief of Police (Keegan-Michael Key) and Officer Affable (Kobna Holdbrook-Smith), who confiscate his stock and leave him with a paltry single sovereign to pay for his room.

As Willy returns to Scrubbit’s home, he is met with a series of absurd charges that threaten to bankrupt him. Forced to toil for years to settle his debts, Willy finds himself down the laundry chute, where he meets a motley crew of individuals who have also fallen prey to Scrubbit and Bleacher’s schemes: Abacus Crunch (Jim Carter), a former accountant; Piper Benz (Natasha Rothwell), a plumber; Lottie Bell (Rakhee Thakrar), a telephone operator; and Larry Chucklesworth (Rich Fulcher), a failed comedian. Noodle, it seems, has accumulated the greatest debt of all, forced to work for an eternity to pay off her creditors.

As Willy (no actor mentioned) sits in his cozy room, he discovers that the enigmatic Noodle has yet to experience the pure delight of chocolate. With a warm smile, he recounts how his mother, Sally Hawkins, taught him the art of crafting this sweet treat and instilled a sense of creativity within him. Inspired by this memory, Willy unleashes his inner chocolatier, combining special ingredients like “liquid sunlight” to create a unique confection featuring a striking lightning bolt design. Noodle takes a tentative bite and finds herself enamored with the taste, although she’s skeptical about ever savoring it again. Willy, undeterred, begins concocting a plan to produce more chocolate, vowing to grant Noodle a lifetime supply.

Meanwhile, Chief, accompanied by Father Julius (Rowan Atkinson), ventures into a church and descends into the shadows, where he encounters the clandestine Chocolate Cartel: Slugworth, Fickelgruber, and Prodnose. These nefarious figures perceive Willy as a threat to their lucrative chocolate empire, which is crumbling due to his delectable creations being sold at an affordable price. The trio attempts to curry favor with Chief by offering him a sumptuous assortment of chocolates (“Sweet Tooth”) in exchange for taking drastic measures against Willy, even if it means eliminating the young inventor.

As Willy and Noodle work together to create a diversion, they cleverly manipulate Scrubbit into believing Bleacher is a member of the aristocracy, while simultaneously convincing Bleacher that Scrubbit harbors romantic feelings for him. Willy also designs a laundry machine powered by their trusty canine companion Tiddles, allowing the other workers to relax and unwind. Noodle accompanies Willy to the zoo, where he claims to require giraffe milk for his next innovative project. They cleverly distract a guard using a truffle that leaves him in a state of intoxication, allowing Willy to slip away and collect milk from the majestic Abigail, whose gentle demeanor is matched only by her impressive stature. Noodle then reveals a pendant bearing the letter “N” around her neck, which serves as the origin of Scrubbit’s nickname for her. As they stroll through the zoo, she confides in Willy about her long-held dream of building a genuine home and family (“For A Moment”). Willy reassures her that he will help her realize this aspiration.

As Willy and his cohorts return to their humble abode, they’re met with Abacus’ grave warning: the notorious Chocolate Cartel not only dominates the town’s cocoa market but also meticulously documents its illicit dealings - a clandestine operation involving the dilution and watering down of their chocolate, with excess supplies stored in an underground vault beneath the church. Guarded by Father Julius and a legion of chocoholic monks, this subterranean stronghold presents a formidable challenge for Willy’s entrepreneurial ambitions. Undeterred, the group agrees to aid Willy in his quest to outmaneuver the cartel and bring his delectable creations to the people.

Willy begins by leveraging his giraffe milk macaroons to instill confidence in a lovelorn suitor, thereby inspiring him to sweep his girlfriend off her feet. Next, he showcases an assortment of scrumptious treats (“You’ve Never Had Chocolate Like This (Reprise)”) and employs cunning tactics to evade the Chief’s detection, including a daring escape down storm drains. The Chief, however, proves a formidable foe, mobilizing his minions to secure the drains while struggling with the consequences of his own chocolate-fueled gluttony.

By nightfall, Willy sets a trap for the elusive “little orange man” responsible for pilfering his chocolates. When Lofty (Hugh Grant), an Oompa Loompa, falls into the snare, Willy discovers that he’s not only an opportunistic thief but also a representative of Loompaland, whose life was irreparably damaged by Willy’s unauthorized appropriation of cocoa beans. As recompense, Lofty demands a substantial payment in chocolate to restore his fortunes - a demand he ultimately fulfills by deceiving Willy with a clever ruse involving a frying pan.

Meanwhile, the Chocolate Cartel becomes aware of Noodle’s involvement and views her association as a significant obstacle to their interests. In response, Slugworth concocts a sinister plan in collaboration with Scrubbit and Bleacher. As tensions escalate, Willy secures the keys to his shop in the town square from Noodle, allowing him to finally open its doors to the public.

Upon unveiling an array of breathtaking confections - including cotton candy clouds, edible flowers, and chocolate trees (“A World of Your Own”) - the crowd is enthralled. However, their euphoria is short-lived, as they soon begin to experience bizarre physical transformations: hair growth and color changes occur at an alarming rate. Willy realizes that the chocolate has been contaminated with “yeti sweat” and frantically attempts to warn the people, but they turn against him, reducing his shop to ashes in a fiery inferno sparked by an incensed mother’s reckless actions - the chandelier, once a symbol of elegance, now lies broken amidst the ruin.

As Willy sits amidst the ruins of his once-thriving shop, a somber mood settles over him like a shroud. The Chocolate Cartel arrives with a tantalizing proposal: settle all debts to Scrubbit and Bleacher in exchange for abandoning his chocolate-making ways and leaving town forever. Willy’s reluctance is palpable as he reluctantly agrees, boarding a boat out of town (“Sorry, Noodle”) with the weight of his decision settling heavily upon him.

As fate would have it, Lofty reappears, convinced that Willy still owes him a debt to be settled. It is then that Willy notices the eerie resemblance between the mark on his hand and Noodle’s ring, a discovery that hints at an unsettling connection between Slugworth and Noodle - a bond born of blood. Recognizing the gravity of her situation, Willy resolves to turn back, only to discover that the Cartel has rigged the boat with explosives. With Lofty by his side, they jump ship mere moments before the vessel erupts into chaos.

Meanwhile, Scrubbit grants Abacus, Piper, Lottie, and Larry their freedom, but Noodle is informed that Slugworth paid her keep - a sinister plot to keep her captive forever, coupled with a sinister poisoning of the chocolates. Willy joins forces with the other adults to liberate Noodle, planning an audacious heist to infiltrate the Cartel’s vault and expose their nefarious schemes, ensuring her safety.

The group orchestrates a daring rescue mission to free Abigail from the clutches of the zoo, bringing her to the church where they hope to intimidate Julius and his monastic cohorts. Under the cover of darkness, Willy and Noodle navigate the underground tunnels, only to be discovered by the Cartel - Slugworth, in particular, drawing a gun on them with calculated menace.

As it becomes clear that Slugworth is, in fact, Noodle’s uncle, Zeppy’s daughter, his treachery comes into sharp focus. He had abandoned Noodle when her mother fell ill, leaving her to Scrubbit’s mercy while convincing the grieving woman that her child had passed away - all a ruse to claim their family’s chocolate fortune for himself.

In a desperate bid to save Willy and Noodle from drowning in a sea of sweet, sticky liquid, Willy hands Slugworth a jar of his finest chocolate, instructing him to deliver it to Lofty should he encounter him. However, the three villains have other plans, devouring the entire jar with reckless abandon.

As the vault teeters on the brink of overflowing, Lofty appears at the church, draining the container and rendering Willy’s debt null and void - a heroic act that allows Willy to repay his obligations in full.

As Slugworth, Fickelgruber, and Prodnose make a hasty exit, Willy and Noodle emerge with a telltale ledger that exposes the Cartel’s nefarious dealings. Affable’s eyes widen as he peruses the incriminating pages, only to discover the Chief’s name scribbled amidst the criminal activity. Meanwhile, the Cartel attempts to make their escape, but finds themselves inexplicably floating above ground once more. Willy matter-of-factly explains that their consumption of Hoverchocs had triggered a delayed reaction, imbuing them with an extraordinary capacity for flight. In a clever move, Willy activates the town square’s fountain, unleashing a torrent of chocolate that bursts forth and renders the Cartel helpless, causing them to uncontrollably soar out of town. The townsfolk, seizing the opportunity, indulge in the chocolate, unaware that it contains Willy’s secret ingredients.

With his reputation intact, Willy returns to his confectionery pursuits, producing a final, precious bar made by his mother before her passing. This sentimental keepsake is accompanied by a poignant note emphasizing that the true value of chocolate lies not in its creation, but in who makes and shares it with others. Willy then bestows the treasured treat upon Noodle, Abacus, Piper, Lottie, and Larry, each receiving a small piece of the narrative as they track down Noodle’s mother, Dorothy Smith (Tracy Ifeachor), a librarian who has been living in anonymity.

As Willy and Lofty venture to an abandoned castle, the latter confesses that he has unfinished business to attend to in Loompaland. However, Willy extends an olive branch, offering Lofty a position by his side, which Lofty gratefully accepts. Thus, Willy sets the stage for his world-renowned chocolate factory.

During the credits, Lofty provides a recap of the characters’ fates. Abacus, Lottie, Piper, and Larry reunite with loved ones, while Scrubbit and Bleacher are exposed as having contaminated Willy’s chocolate. In a desperate attempt to destroy the evidence, they try to consume it, only to find their skin and hair transformed into vibrant hues. The two lovebirds-turned-culprits are subsequently apprehended, mourning the loss of their newfound romance amidst the chaos.