The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas 1982

In the small town of Gilbert, Texas, Sheriff Ed Earl Dodd (actor’s name) has maintained a discreet yet enduring relationship with Miss Mona Stangley, the enigmatic proprietor of the “Chicken Ranch”, a revered institution that has thrived outside the law for nearly a century. The arrangement is one of mutual respect and understanding, with Ed Earl turning a blind eye to Miss Mona’s lawful yet controversial profession in exchange for her generosity and civic-mindedness. Their clandestine trysts are occasionally interrupted by Deputy Fred Wilkins, but the couple’s connection remains strong, despite being shrouded in secrecy.

As the town’s mayor, Rufus P. Poindexter, and insurance salesman C.J. Vernon inform Ed Earl that consumer advocate Melvin P. Thorpe (actor’s name) intends to expose the Chicken Ranch on his popular television program, The Watchdog Report, a sense of unease settles over Gilbert. Thorpe’s announcement sparks a chain reaction, with Ed Earl visiting him at his downtown Houston studio and being shocked by the brazenness of the TV personality’s words. During a segment filmed in the town square, Thorpe publicly accuses Ed Earl of accepting bribes to protect Miss Mona’s business, prompting the sheriff to lash out at Thorpe and threaten physical harm or imprisonment should he ever set foot in Gilbert again.

The Chicken Ranch is such an integral part of Gilbert’s fabric that it has become a tradition for the winner of the annual University of Texas Longhorns versus Texas A&M Aggies football rivalry on Thanksgiving Day to celebrate their victory by hosting a party at the ranch, courtesy of the winning school’s alumni association. However, Thorpe’s scathing report and Ed Earl’s heated reaction place an unwanted spotlight on the Chicken Ranch, prompting Miss Mona to close her doors to regular customers but allow the football teams to continue their tradition.

As the sun sets on the Chicken Ranch, Thorpe’s crew orchestrates a daring heist, sneaking onto the property under the cover of darkness to catch the unsuspecting Aggies and State Senator Charles Wingwood (a proud 1949 Texas A&M University alumnus) in flagrante delicto. The next morning, Ed Earl (character name) returns home to find his partner Miss Mona in a state of high dudgeon, her ire piqued by the brazen invasion and Ed Earl’s apparent lack of protection during the ordeal. Their argument escalates, with Mona branding him childish and questioning his standing, while Ed Earl retorts, “It’s a hell of a lot better than being a prostitute.”

With the sting of their disagreement still fresh, Ed Earl secretly makes his way to Austin, seeking an audience with the Governor of Texas to plead the Chicken Ranch’s case. The politician, ever the pragmatist, listens intently as Ed Earl paints a passionate picture of the brothel’s importance to the local economy and community. However, when the latest opinion polls indicate that a slim majority of Texans disapprove of the establishment, the Governor orders the sheriff to shut it down. As Ed Earl departs the capitol building, he encounters a triumphant Thorpe, whose wig is soon yanked off and followed by a swift punch from Ed Earl - all caught on camera.

Back at his office, Ed Earl makes a somber phone call to Mona, informing her that the Governor has decided to close the Chicken Ranch for good. Apologetic for their earlier fight, he asks her to accept the inevitable and permanently shutter the brothel. Though initially devastated by the news, Miss Mona’s spirits are lifted when she discovers Ed Earl’s futile attempt to save the establishment.

As the curtains draw on the Chicken Ranch’s storied history, Miss Mona prepares to bid farewell to her beloved brothel - but not before Ed Earl intercepts her and proposes marriage. She declines, aware that being the wife of a man who once championed a notorious whorehouse would damage his political aspirations. Undeterred, Ed Earl insists on marrying her regardless of what others might think or say. To make his point, he hauls away Miss Mona’s luggage and installs it in his pickup truck before inviting her to join him for a ride into the sunset.

In the aftermath, Deputy Fred assumes the role of Sheriff, while Ed Earl and Miss Mona exchange vows in a private ceremony. Years later, Ed Earl goes on to achieve electoral success as a member of the Texas state legislature.